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Double Dose

by Joe McGivney

Since we went to press early last week because of the 4th of July holiday, we’ll try to get you up to date with a few stories from each of the last two weeks.  First up, the Rockaway Breakers have crossed a serious sports barrier as they now hope to win more games than they lose each week which is way different from last year when they just hoped to get to the party before the food ran out.  Look for them to be contending in the Ocean Division shortly.  By shortly, I mean when hell freezes over (like the Eagles reunion tour).  And isn’t St. Theresa really the team MVP, providing steady leadership for her band of lost boys (and girls) and keeping the volatile superstar Rusty in line, both on and off the field?  I don’t think many people were aware that Murph was a single loss away from losing a bet and having to wear pink shorts for the rest of the season.  Thank goodness his team pulled one out or we’d be witnessing a fashion atrocity weekly.  And his team would probably not have won that single game if it wasn’t for Cement Shoes taking the Magellan route home from the airport with his opponent’s best players in his car.  If they wanted to, Allison and Brian could probably press charges against Dickie for kidnapping them since they missed the entire match.  Who would have thought the Social Yachties would be tied for first place when the BHYC split their squad up?  And who would have thought that John McCann would have to “borrow” beer for his own Snotty Yachties since they seem to be concentrating on winning games and forget to pack enough brewskis?  Was that Lauren who ruined her manicure for the sake of the team?  That’s dedication.  On 7/1, Tim from LeGreann uttered words never before heard in the RBVL, “We brought too much beer tonight.  Does anyone want to take a case of ice cold beer off our hands?”  All the old-timers from Casino Towing could muster up was one win against the Flip Cup All-Stars but they presented it to Sarah McCarthy as a 17th birthday gift.  And many more!  Big Brown was late last week because he got back late from the Apollo while Frankie D. was distracted dreaming of his fantasy winter vacation with Misty May.  Dangerous Donny is in hot water because he mentioned that his own Blonde Bombshell was not the total package but Katie, the professional volleyball player, was!  Watch out for flying objects, buddy. 

Last Wednesday night was the first time that teams would suffer forfeit losses if they had not handed in signed rosters.  I sure hope you weren’t one of those bad boys and girls.  It’s amazing how many dogs have eaten homework and RBVL rosters!  As of now, rosters are still needed from Coppersmith’s, Jameson’s, Harbor Light Brooklyn Transplants and the Bayview Barracudas.  This week the penalty doubles to two games for any of these teams still delinquent.  At least some of the birds have flown the coop and more turf has been reclaimed on the left side of the walkway.  Hopefully, the right side birds will follow suit and head out of town and the humans can take over.  Unfortunately, this week looked a lot like last week as the Flip Cup All-Stars once again spanked Casino Towing 3-2.  Rocky and Joe screwed up big time by showing all of their signature moves to the Sica kids when they were just 4 and 5 years old, never thinking that 20 years later they would have the same moves sprung back on them in defeat.  At least none of the youngsters has attempted Rocky’s Reverse Flipper shot yet.

Connolly’s played a tough match against the Wharf Rats losing 3 tight games.  The Wharf Rats played well with a strong showing from Greg Filippi and his mates but sexual deprivation really did Connolly’s in.  Look for more of the same next week at the Summer Winds.  Jim from Connolly’s explained to some teammates afterwards why he was slightly off.  They’re all hoping things will be taken care before next week’s game.  Laura pointed out that Steve was flapping all around the court; he should really make sure everything is secured tightly.  Duct tape is now a standard part of Mr. Happy’s wardrobe every week, on the knees, the elbows and the ankles but he missed a spot on his fingers and suffered his weekly gash.  He has given more blood to the sands of Riis Park than he has at the Graybeards blood drive.  EZ Company fought tooth and nail to win a 3-2 battle against the Social Yachties.  And even more important, no major traumas or injuries were incurred due to the Weber Phenomenon.  Next week watch for the sex change operation they perform where 4 women and 2 men will be playing.  Bring your umbrellas because there will be plenty of sex on the beach – to drink, that is.  Pappy noted that he doesn’t need a knee brace to drink since he already has a wooden leg. 

Sands Point Physical Therapy lost to Team Margarita 3 to 2.  This week’s dynamic duo, Jessica and Brendan, both played well.  Neil dominated the net and the team really appreciated it.  Now that the season is half over, anyone with injuries can come to Sands Point Physical Therapy for some tune-ups.  And a special thanks to Carol for keeping the team hydrated with those ice cold Coronas.  Welcome back Rocky from the Michael Jackson memorial.  We weren’t sure you could pull yourself together in time to make volleyball.  Grouch McCann elbowed Brian Kelly right into the emergency room with a couple of broken ribs.  Ouch!  SOB played outstanding on the court and led the Suns of Beaches to a 4-1 victory over Bar 13 NYC.  The team was so pumped up with their win that they all showed at the bar afterwards.  Last Call’s “Under Armour” was in the dryer tonight.  They did enforce the ERA amendment tonight which upset the machismo of the men on the team.  Johnny Angel is worried that this bad economy is destroying his liver.   Big Brown was not up to par tonight as he was nursing a stubbed toe.  Air Steinberg was guilty of a premature launch at the net.  (Carole, take care of him, please.)

We have two restaurant reviews this week since the Wave had to go to press early last week.  First up, the Bay House, who entertained the biggest crowd of the 2009 season with cold beers and a live band, Cool Hand Lou, who played late into the evening on 7/1.  Unfortunately, they had to play indoors with foul weather threatening outside all night.  Even more unfortunately, the food mathematics did not work out too well – 10 pounds of ziti divided by 200 hungry volleyball players.  Our anonymous food critic noted that there were plenty of choices on the menu as long as you chose ziti.  In true RBVL fashion though, everyone had a good time anyway.  After hitting culinary highs each week from the beginning of the season, the league has hit a speed bump two weeks in a row. 

This week the ship steadied a bit at the Bungalow Bar.  Thanks to Billy Hofmann and Lauren for sponsoring the night along with Long Trail Brewing.  They were responsible for the complimentary tee shirts and the great tap beer.  The waitress service for drinks all around the bar and deck was a nice touch and very helpful since the bars were packed.  To top things off, DJ Teddy played outside on the deck and his performance was up to his usual high standards.  He certainly knows what makes the RBVL tick and his song selections had the tired players reaching back for their reserve energy to dance the night away.  And then they risk life and limb to play musical chairs with him; it’s as if he has a strange Jim Jones hold over them.  What’s next, juiced up Kool-Aid?  Although the variety of food started out promising, the quantity fell short once again.  The Bungalow Bar introduced a new ticket system to the world of RBVL food lines.  But apparently the buffet ticket only guaranteed you rice and sauerkraut.  One hungry player was actually seen eating his ticket.  Now that’s what I call roughage.  Joe Abbracciamento had to eat a late-night Chicken Schwarma for the third week in a row, a streak he has never previously experienced in 21 years.  With 2-300 ravenous players swarming down after their strenuous matches on the beach, the bars and restaurants seem to be a bit overwhelmed lately in the food department.  The good news is that they are still doing a good job in the drinking, music and fun departments.  Hopefully next week the Summer Winds will hit an ace.

Next week, many divisions have a position week scheduled, which should go a long way toward determining regular season champs and playoff positioning.  Watch for Freedhand's Dynasty vs. the Sugar Bowl in the Ocean, the Sand Spikers vs. Brooklyn Window & Door in the Wave, the Bay House Babes vs. JG Electric in the Beach, 3rd and Long vs.Snotty Yachtie, Average Joes vs. Sets on the Beach in the Sun, Le Greann vs. Simon Says Sea Bar in the Moon and Last Call vs. the Social Yachties in the Star – all battles between the top two teams.  Can you feel the competitive temperature rising?  Now roll this around in your brain – there are only four more weeks left in the regular season.  Where does the time go?

Make sure you mark your calendar for the 2009 RBVL Playoffs which will be held all day at Riis Park on Saturday, 8/8.  As always, if you have any questions please call Patty at 917-613-0908.  (Be sure to call between 10 AM and 9 PM.  Remember, Patty has a life outside of VB, too.)  Or just check our website at www.rbvl.com.  You'll find the answers to most of your questions there, not to mention pretty pictures and funny stories. 

See you on the beach!