RBVL Beats the Rain

 

By Rocky D.  6/18/10

The weather forecast was not kind to the RBVL this week.  Jack Weber’s recently invented anti-rain dance  seemed to work.  I guess it pays to watch old Westerns.  Next week work on the wind, Jack.    The Big Easy won two but would have won more if they had put more women on the sand.  The Big Easy Women’s book club will further discuss women’s strategy on Friday night.  Robin Shapiro Island played the Bungalow Bar Flies in five tough games with the flies prevailing in the final game in an overtime thriller.  In the domestic abuse play of the night, Shane pushed his mother to the sand and declared, “I’ve got it” and immediately shanked it.  R.S Island says the Bar Flies have shown improvement in playing and recruiting attractive young men.   The Flies had to leave Kerry Hills early to prepare their costumes for Saturday’s Mermaid parade.   How many people leaving Kerry Hills early can say that?   Head over to Coney Island and cheer them on.  It starts at 1 PM and I will be there with fellow mermaid enthusiasts.  

Coach Rocky, related to the author by birth, gave his finest Knute Rockne speech to his team, Casino Tow, just before the game.  “Remember team, success comes in cans and failure comes in cant’s so pick up your  12 ounce cans and head to victory.”  Casino promptly dropped five quick ones to Fillmore Insurance, thus bringing Rocky’s career as a motivational speaker to an abrupt, ignominious end.  It’s 5 O’Clock Somewhere would like to thank the Kerry Hills for a fabulous spread of food.  Little do they know that they have saved the life of Paul by deterring his recent spate of slightly altered driving to Howard Beach for food following a night of many cocktails.  Kudos to Brian, aka “Bill Buckner,” for his speedy departure from the court, enthusiastically prematurely declaring victory before humbly admitting defeat. The Comeback Cats, formally known as Bar 13, are back with a new name and a new attitude.  Welcome to two new additions, Matt and Justin; hopefully, they make it through their initiation.   Everyone played great in a nice 3-2 victory.  The Cats would like to send out a challenge to Last Call - winner gets to throw the loser into the Amoroso Pool.   Is it as big as the NCAA pool? 

The Cubby Hole was heavily occupied by many fellow “Holers.”  Cubby, the most interesting man in the world, stated, “ I don’t always drink beer (sometimes cooking wine) but when I do, I drink canned Schaefer.”  Cubby asked Seal Moore to leave because he felt he was uninteresting.  Cubby said he was very proud of the fact that he can trace his heritage back to the troglodytes. The folks in the Cubby Hole were eating a new product thanks to the oil spill - self cooking shrimp.  Light ‘em up, wait till the oil burns off and eat ‘em! The Beach Bums took five from Chico’s Bail bonds and are still undefeated.   Glenn, Mark and Kimberly played well and celebrated accordingly at the Kerry Hills.  Connolly’s was out on (and under) the boardwalk searching for last minute players to put on the roster. They did locate at homeless person sleeping on the mall and were able to get a verbal commitment and an X for his signature.  Thanks to Lisa Brennan for bringing down the average age of the team.  Mr. Happy had a new motto, “Start every day off with a smile and get it the hell over with.”  Put the pillow to bed because It’s All Good is not dead.  June and July go on the fly and August we will meet.  Bugsy must have had laryngitis because it was only a one-beer sermon.   Coach TBG got in the way again despite Debbie expending all available energy to move him out of the way.  The Big Guy tried to coach and play at the same time but he has never been too deft at multi-tasking.  Walking the uneven sand surface has often proved problematic for The Big Guy. 


Kerry Hills won their first game than dropped the next two while Somey was busy giving CPR to Sonya.  After the CPR lesson he slipped into his Superman costume, flew to Riis Park and led the Hills to the final two victories.  It’s good to have “Someyman” on the team.  The Hills would like to welcome their newest member, Lauren Thompson.  Her sets float up there with the best of them.   Mike Stone was a no-show because he is still out from Trivia Tuesday at the Circle. I guess it ran into overtime.  Deidre D. left the Kerry Hills  team to go to Oceans 12 but was still allowed to go to the party at Kerry Hills.  However, she was only served bread and butter.  Benedict Arnold never had it so good.  Teams get scolded when they fall short so it is only fair that they get lauded when they come up big.  The turnout at Kerry Hills was the best of the season and the largest in RBVL history at the Kerry Hills.  Carmel and her family and staff once again did what they do best - provide terrific home-cooked food along with a down home friendly welcome.  The huge crowd that showed was obviously aware of their fine tradition and responded en masse.   There were so many people there that the refs weren’t even first on the food line, and that is a first.  And what a spread!  The variety was terrific and each selection was delicious but special commendations must be given to the Shepherd’s Pie and Carmel’s homemade potato salad.  Congrats to the Kerry Hills for a fine job.  When Pat Connolly won the 50-50 raffle, the organizers called his house and his wife threw him out immediately and told him to go get the cash.  Of course, the amount of their winnings was only $250 not the $20,000 that they had hoped for.  Thanks for the round of drinks, Pat. 

Rusty of the Rockaway Breakers was back in early season form and reminds everyone that the award for best party team is a marathon not a sprint.  Look for his squad to escalate their reveling each week right up to the playoffs.  Were Debbie and Joe really talking about the library at the Kerry Hills?  Remember when conversations at the bar were risqué, sexual and alcohol-fueled.  What’s next, a discussion about the best milk and cookie combination?  (Can you really go wrong with chocolate chips?)  Was that Mr. Happy signing another ringer (Eileen) in the hallway between the rest rooms?  The Cubby Hole re-opened Wednesday and was the perfect safe haven from the blustery winds of Riis.  Stay thirsty, my friends.  Many fans have circled 7/14 on their sports calendars.  That’s the day that legends Rocky and Cubby square off across the net for the first time in their illustrious careers.  Break out the video cameras for that one.  After two completed weeks of action, there are only three undefeated teams out of 68 – Beach Bums, Happy Hour and Miley Home Improvement Posse.  Coach had some trouble reffing his match because he still had a ringing in his ears from the World Cup vuvuzela horns.  The RBVL may outlaw them even though FIFA seems to like them.   

SIGNED rosters were due on Wednesday (week 3) and many are still drying out.  But when they dry tomorrow, Patty will check to see which teams have not handed in a signed roster.  Those teams will forfeit any points they won on 6/16 and the standings will be adjusted on the website over the weekend.  Different divisions have “Position Nights” scheduled at different times during the season.  As a reminder, last week’s rained out schedule will be played instead of the first “Position Night,” whenever that comes around in your division.  As veterans know, the court layouts change often because of the endangered birds.  Come early each week and check the information board to find out where you are playing.  The RBVL has gone “green” and the 2010 Rules and 2010 Schedules are now corrected and posted on the website.  This saved thousands of pages of copies being printed.  We asked that you send an e-mail (jmcgivney2@nyc.rr.com) on Thursdays with a quick summary of the previous night’s ref even if you don’t know his name.  (We’ll know who it was because we keep track of that stuff.)  It can be simply, “Ref was great.”  Or give us some detail, “Ref called no net violations”, Ref called too many carries” or “He called the game tighter than any ref this year”.  You get the idea – brief and to the point, both good and bad.  Please make sure to include your team name with your e-mail.   


Some league participants have noticed the “new look” league.   The new look being-- no uniforms.  The magnitude of the league (and the uniform order) seems to make it more difficult each season to have the shirts ready for the practice week.  In fact, this year the order seemed to overwhelm our long-time supplier and he is still struggling to finish the work.  Rumor has it that he received all ladies’ tanks and that definitely would not look very good on many of the very masculine athletes of the RBVL although it would certainly have given the league a new trans-gender look.  Dancer was all for the shirts stating, “I just feel I play better in a woman’s tank.”   Michael Martin said, ‘I had no idea there were men’s and women’s tank tops, I thought it was uni-sex like I-Pods.”  But sit tight, they’ll be here any minute.  Until they arrive, wear one of your many vintage old uniforms.  As always, if you have any questions please call Patty at 917-613-0908.  (Be sure to call between 10 AM and 9 PM.  Remember, Patty has a life outside of VB, too.)  Or just check our website at www.rbvl.com.  You'll find the answers to most of your questions there, not to mention pretty pictures and funny stories.   

See you on the beach!