The quality of play in the league is at an all time high in all divisions. And each division has achieved what Commissioner Patty Melt wanted - Parity. (Not Party which the league has also achieved but that goes without saying in Rockaway). Here's this weeks stories:
Fillmore
sucks wind in the wind. Please come back, we need our leading ladies. Talking
about ladies, Jim we will return the entrance fee as promised if you let anyone
else hit the ball. Lt. Jim should stick to the books and send his wife out to
play. Luckily, Jimmy “The Cheap Bastard” and Tim the Great are on the team
or it would even be worse. Fillmore has asked for a roster check because they
are in disbelief that this is the same team they handled so easily last season.
The
Beach House won 5-0 with the help of the new young blood on the team. Eric the
Probie hustled all over the court, including a takedown of the net to complete
the House’s second sweep in a row.
Kerry
Hills won 5-0 against the Big Mamooshkas with Trish the Dish showing her
championship form and Mike Gambino’s famous birthday spike. Brian Sica pounded
his serves through the hurricane gusts to bail the Hills out in one game,
bringing them back from 8-10 to clinch it.
Chill out Beach House, the Kerry Hills still holds the title belt and
can’t wait for the showdown. When Big Jumbo picks up his game and keeps
hitting those forearm drop shots, watch out. Some of the veteran players seem to
have found their way to the bench with all of the new talent on board. But they
are still first string at the bar. Speaking of the bar, Maureen Monaghan was a
hit at the post game party at Kerry Hills, pulling off the ultimate balancing
act as she danced around the pool table with a full pint glass of Guinness on
her head. God bless the Irish.
She expects to be playing back with the Hills soon when her knee heals.
She says she will lose the Guinness when she returns to the court. RIP
Liam “Mouthpiece” Bolgers and Happy Birthday to Mike Gambino and Della
Fleming. Eileen here we come!
Was it true that Liam Bulgers was in the Palm Garden at game time?
Yes.
George
and Greg had trouble keeping up with the girls of the Irish Circle - on the late
night drinking scene. They were told to get back on the porch because they
can’t run with the big dogs. The girls have issued a challenge to the men of
Rockaway to answer the call and step up to the bar.
Alright,
on hand was Dubs, Wubs, Groatie, Cliff, Chooch, Killer and Wonder Woman
(starting to sound like a Starbucks special) but it’s TNT and we lost again.
Although the balls were flying and this time Wubs and Groatie wore their
underwear we still couldn’t get the right balls in the right spot. The Rugby
Fishheads prevailed 5-0 in a match played in a tornado. Next week we will have
the services of Boom-Boom, and Marty may even take his shoes off if it will help
win a game. Until next week, Wonder Woman is signing off.
One
Win may have to change their name after winning twice and looking for better
things in the weeks to come. The antics of a well known, experienced, former
RBVL player and sportswriter and current Long Beach resident who refereed could
not stop the One Win Guys even with his incorrect rulings. A new tradition of a
tailgate party during the game has resulted in too many volunteers to sit out
but somehow 6 people always end up in the game.
TBG delivered the mail in the afternoon and knew that
it would be a brilling night, whatever the hell that is. He also ended all the
off-season controversy by re-signing Joe “Seal” Moore to a one year
contract. Joe becomes a restricted free agent next year and already Rocky sent
Joe Abbracciamento down to the Blue Division to scout the powerful left-handed
spiking machine.
Abbracciamento’s
won a serving duel 5-0 as the cry of “Win one for the Gipper!” sounded for
Charlie Brady who had his appendix break during the week. Get well soon,
Charlie. Coach Rocky expects you back next Wednesday. During the match Frank had
one kill and Jeannie, Kathy and Leah each had one set and that’s all she
wrote.
Just
Healy’s edged the Bikini Bottom All-Stars 3-2 in what was probably the best
played match in the most brutal conditions. Both teams were actually setting and
spiking some of the time which was more than any other squads at Riis Park. Rita
Sica made a triumphant return after a 5 year leave of absence but continues to
hold down a job so that her husband, Sponge Bob, can lay around flipping Crabby
Patty’s. Dancer and Bobby Big Toe
Whalen played admirably despite the conditions.
Jimmy Mack was shocked to see what Leigh-Ann was packing after he dropped
his plate of Ziti on her Kerry Hills Championship sweatshirt, forcing her to
show her stuff.
League
president Patty Melt’s life was saved when the volleyball net poll that was
heading for her head was heroically grabbed in flight by Katie.
When asked about her heroics, Katie explained, “Patty who?
The poll was heading for my Michelob Light.”
The Post game party was rocking at the always rockin Kerry Hills. The
food was excellent and plentiful and the service was great.
Next weeks post game activities are at Healy’s.