Week Nine: This Powder Keg is going to Blow!

Joe Moore refuses to play next week in the season finale against the Circling Sharks, what with the big trade still pending and all. Even though Joe is one of the premier players in the Blue Division, It’s All Good should be OK if TBG (The Big Guy) steps it up a notch and “Cement Shoes” gets lighter on his feet. 

After seeing the success that Team Sica has enjoyed the last few years developing their players from birth (i.e. Brian, Tricia and Michael) Abbracciamento’s has followed suit. Charlie and Blanche Brady gave birth to a healthy baby girl, Margie, Saturday and she is expected in the starting lineup in 2017. Congratulations on the birth of your outside hitter, I mean daughter. 

The Beach Club is on their usual course this year, moving from last place in week one to third place currently. They had a solid victory against  Your Mother’s Team 5-0 even though Goose flew the Coop. That’s 9 out of 10 since she’s been missing and Maverick had to go solo. Gilligan and Maryanne returned from Hawaii to play but it looked like they were still on Waikiki time. And by the way, what’s up with that hickey on your face, Gilligan? 

Cub reporter, Joe McGivney showed up at the beach with the old John Sica porcupine buzz haircut. Joe, there can only be one John Sica. Give it up. Abbracciamento’s got 4 points off of the Psychic Friends. 

The league is considering giving out a sportsmanship award this year at the league dinner. It’s going to be difficult selecting the winner but it was easy naming the award. The NHL may have the Lady Bing Trophy but the RBVBL now has the “Coach” award. 

The Beach House beat TNT 4-1 with Dennis McClain leading the way. He served, he spiked, he dug and he even blocked. He was a one man wrecking crew. And after the league game he was even better in the nightcap. Lorraine “Chooch” Stagnitta came back with a vengeance with her serves and even threatened to remove her underwear to distract her opponents with the old 38DD’s. Patricia “Boom Boom” MacDonald was about to issue her a summons but realized it would actually help the team and let the infraction slide. Mary “M&M’s” Whelan did her best work at the bar grabbing the butt of the league sports reporter and inspiring him to write even more about her team than they deserve. How cheap does she feel? 

Congratulations to the Kerry Hills who beat Dig This 4-1 to move into first place in the most tightly contested division. It must be the week’s drinking or maybe the fact that Michelle and Noelle stayed dry. Or maybe it was Tubbs cheering from the sidelines. Good serving by Mike Gambino and Kenny Kearns led the attack. (When was the last time that a Gambino played on a team from Ireland?)  Bolgers will kilkenny beat Galway! 6-1 odds on Galway. 

Jerry’s Kids beat the Tap and Grill narrowly 3-2 in a match that could have went either way.  The Kids still face the weekly dilemma that all teams go through. Do we play our best team or do we give everybody a chance, considering this is the RECREATIONAL league! We dearly miss Erin, who is on vacation in the islands.  Maybe she’s picking up some tips down there. Jimmy Balf, please come back next week. We miss you and your soothing personality. Bonnie wants to know when she’s getting her 2 dollars. (And don’t forget the interest.) Tap and Grill had a great time but were a little disappointed in game 3 when they lost in overtime. They had a chance to win but some great kick saves by the soccer players across the net shocked them.  You’ve heard about bump shots and spike shots but have you ever heard about a BOOB shot. Mary Ellen surprised everyone and it was a miracle the Water Bra didn’t burst. And what a fitting end to the season as next week the Tap and Grill faces off against the Tap and Grill Island in a season ending grudge match! Get the funnels ready!!!!! 

In case you were wondering Coach is alive and well in Long Beach and has been keeping busy reading all the Wave articles. In fact he has changed his name. It is now “The Player Formerly Known As Coach”.

 Mayhem, hostility and fisticuffs can only describe the situation between The Rugby Fisheads and IBK. This only describes the dismantling of the nets. Prior to the Fisheads securing a 4-1 win, the head Fishead of the day, Kevin Kennedy, overestimated IBK New Edition. Substituting himself for 6’5” John McCann and inserting teen idol, Tyrone Sperling was a little too much for John Brennan’s kids. Do you think the kids were mesmerized by Tyrone’s tattoos or his sister’s headwear that he sports?  Only they know for sure. Mr. Brennan’s off court demeanor should not be a family tradition. Don’t be surprised if a rematch takes place next week. By the way, Kevin, Where’s the envelope? You better find it quickly! 

Coppersmith’s held onto first place in the Red Division with a 5-0 defeat of Jameson’s.  Led by Scotty, who was putting as many balls down lefty as righty, the team marched to victory in spite of the bickering between the Gatorade Sisters, Marie and Clair. Scotty and Mark were cleaned up and dressed by Nancy and the improvement was noticed by all. Mark even had a matching shirt and pants outfit, the first time that has happened this century. Jameson’s is a team that is only being held back by their lack of skill and maturity, especially their maturity. Although Coppersmith’s won convincingly there appeared to be some animosity between the setters, Clair and Marie {Clair’s sister). Marie still is not sure who gets the second ball. (Newsflash - it’s not the setter in the back row - i.e. Marie.) In the post game 4’s action the team of Clair, JJ, Scotty and Mike spanked the squad of Marie, Mark, TC and Jimmy; you would have thought this was the league championship game. By the way, if anyone would like to schedule a spanking please call Marie at 1-800-spank-me. 

After losing game one to Connolly’s and trailing in game two 5-0 coach Sica called time out.  He exorcised the curse of the Coppersmith sisters and the Gen got  back on track winning the last four games, keeping their chances alive to sleep late on Saturday, August 11^th.  In game three Michael Sica had some big blocks while Rich Whalen rested. 

Congratulations to George and Peggy on their recent engagement. George, you made the right decision trading in the surfboard for the ring. Make sure the wedding doesn’t come during next year’s playoffs. 

Just In the Crapper (Just Healy’s) dropped 3 points tonight and Bobby “Big Toe” Whelan’s foot has now  the same broken dreams as the rest of the team.. They should have a spot in the playoffs but not in as high a position as they hoped.  Whelan was heard saying “what is a team without its BIG TOE!!”

Our bartender, Sean O’Talk thanks all who attended the festivities, especially Claire’s sister. Christian had a good time, too. The Tap and Grill was filled with good times and bloodied ears.

We found Waldo but Georgey is still among the missing.