Week Four

The sounds of Woodstock started the festivities at Pier 92 as the RBVL successfully celebrated the conclusion of week 4. Pat Tubs, from the Tubridy clan and the Piranha volleyball team played some of the best music to date. It didn’t take long before the whole league showed that they were mostly better dancers than players.

The Bikini Bottom All-Stars thought the name change would make a difference when they played their nemesis Coppersmiths. They were right. This time they lost all five games. The scary thing is they played well, the games were competitive, but they lost to the best team. Coach John “Spongebob” Sica had only one thing to say. “Where was Kerry?” Marty was a welcome addition but the team also missed Ava.

The Sharks circled the gang from It’s All Good in a thrilling 3-2 victory. The teams were so evenly matched that the last point decided the night. The Sharks spanked the Teases three straight games after many of their players missed the first two games. Where was Tim Murphy? It’s All Good played without Tim Murphy who left early last week because of a bad sausage. When he didn’t show up this week teammates speculated that it was still because of bad sausage. Or maybe he just wouldn’t take off his socks.

Week Three action.

What’s up with “Cement Shoes” Flanagan? He left after one beer, which is the earliest he has left since the league was started 14 years ago. Embarrassed we guess. The Sharks teased the “Teases” by letting them win the first two games before bringing them back to reality. O’Conner, Moroney, Pappe, Louie, Doug, Dotsy and the rest of the crew sent a clear message to Bugsy and the Teases that they should retire half of their team including TBG.

Healey’s beat Jameson’s 5-0 and there is a search party out for the heavy hitters on the J-Men. Someone suggested looking for them at the Lt. Williams tournament in Long Beach. However, that loss was offset by Bobby “Big Toe” Whelan, who was also at the Williams.

Abbracciamento’s won 5-0 over Connolly’s in spite of the return of Frank and Kevin, who were obviously rusty. Coach Rocky may go with the 4 women line-up from now on since it has been the most effective one this season. Charlie continues to milk an appendicitis injury and his commitment to playing ball is in serious question. Steve gave Donna her release to return to the White Division and ever since he has been receiving free Corona’s from Debbie and Tracey as thanks. But he is also collecting weekly beers from Jimmy and Timmy who want her back on Connolly’s. Steve is truly in a win-win situation - and loving every minute of it. (And he’s home at 10:00 p.m.) There’s talk of changes for next year’s Connolly’s crew. Is Tommy D. coming back? Is Calvin going to be recalled by his superior officers? Will Aaron be working Wednesday’s at the Beach Club? The only definite returning player is Jackie!

Kerry Hills was a 4-1 victor over Fillmore but they seem to be going through the motions and can’t wait for the playoffs. Or are they in deep depression from the early exit of the Irish squad from the World Cup? Or they are still worried about the still missing Liam? They still trail the Beach House by a point in the standings as the House lost their first game of the year in a 4-1 match against The Big Mamooshka’s. Exhaustion and excessive imbibing may have played a part in ending the near record winning streak of 18 consecutive games. Bernadette and Eileen picked up the slack with precision serving throughout. Jimmy made a spectacular return from his broken rib injury.

He was flying all over the court with no regard for his body (or any body else’s). Eric the Probie tried to take another net down, which would have been his second of the year.

Fillmore really does suck wind or no wind. The “I Got It” Sisters just don’t got it. Word has it that the Fire Commissioner is going to keep Jimmy “The Cheap Bastard” on Wednesday tours. Yipee!!! Tim the Great” is having a tough time supporting the entire team on his back, Did someone say that Lt. Jim just got busted to Probie? Wanted - 2 Male Cross Dressers! Tim the Great is chasing all of the females away.

It’s official, TNT is having their worst season yet!!! Although their playing skills have increased, they are still losing (1-4 tonight), but they are having a GREAT time in whatever they are doing (Joe, please keep your hands to yourself). Anyway, back to TNT … Cliff and Lorraine had an intimate encounter. For a minute it was “From Here to Eternity” until a ball hit them in the head. Everyone fell, up down and all around. Why, I have no idea … they still lost. The other team “One Win” may be TNT’s name next year. Angel is still lost on some beach, I guess he didn’t listen to Wonder Women and had his head in the sun again. Marty still has webbed toes. Boom Boom came and gave it her all, but was too busy looking at all the young ones on the side lines. Jimmy where are you? As for Jim Ferraro … will you please stay in one spot!! Now, Wonder Woman will appear but sometime in July. Question is, will she wear underwear? As for the Starbucks team (DUBS, WUBS, Groatie & Cliff) we need to get the pants on and start playing for the real team. By the way DUBS, how is that ankle?

The Irish Circle-Win, Place or Show played against one of their favorite teams, the champion Beach Club. They took 2 points but probably would have had more if the ref had brought his seeing eye dog with him. (Get it - he was blind.) Paul and Erin were instrumental in the solid play in this tough battle. It was also a pleasure to see Jimmy Balfe remembered where to go on Wednesday night. The Circle excelled at the most difficult chair dances and almost made it through the evening without falling off. (The key word, almost.)

The host team, Pier 92 Piranha’s lost 1-4 to Sons of Beaches but then beat them silly at the party by having 100% attendance. After all that’s what really counts. Additionally, the food was outstanding from the BBQ chicken to the mashed potatoes. Captain Allison cheered and coached her team on and they performed admirably. (Hee, Hee!!!)

Mark your calendars. On July 3^rd the league will host a beach party right at Riis Park immediately after the nightly action. A no-frills BBQ will include hot dogs and hamburgers for all and soft drinks for the kids and the wimps. There will be no tomatoes, no onions, no relish, no pickles, no nothing. If you want a veggie burger you better bring it. Bring your own beverages for a long night that will also include music, lights and the world’s largest sand dance floor. This experiment promises to be a classic - don’t miss it. By the way, we’ll bring the grills and charcoal too but we could use some volunteers to help with different jobs during the BBQ (i.e. cooking and cleaning).

Jamison’s got loaded and lucky and crushed the Bobby-less Healy’s 5-0. Too bad Bobby can’t control himself. The Gatorade twins went wild in Pier 92 leaving no drink unturned. Scotty should only wish he got set like it was the end of the world. Jamison’s in a furious rally came back to crush Just Healy’s 5-0. What a shame BA BA Bobby could not make it. The dancing at pier 92 was just like studio 54 only different. Who knew Marie could bust a rhyme as such. The Big MaaaaHoooshKKKKKassssss, were busy destroying the dance floor in spite of Brian Sullivan’s little picture of Marie. Thank you and good night scooooby dooooo. Thank god TC is back in Schmoppy land.

A final administrative note, due to Commissioner Patty Melt’s imminent trip to the maternity ward, all inquiries should be directed to acting commissioner Keith Bugsy Goldberg ( who is not pregnant) at : 634-4820 ext. 207 days, and 945-2224 night.