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Week Nine

R.B.V.L. in The Home Stretch.

By Joe McGivney 
The RBVL had clear skies for a change but of course, the wind was still kicking at Riis Park.  What do you want, everything? 
The Federation won another two games without Captain Tom Ford.  Do you see a pattern here? 
Kudos to Mike Nestor for his appearance in the Beach Orphans 1-4 match against McMahon’s considering he’s the brand new dad of 2-week old twins, Michael and Caitlin.  Rumor has it that he has enrolled the kids in the volleyball farm system.  The Orphans pre-season plan is right on track; they’re shooting for last place so that they can play the first place team in the playoffs.  By the way, Mary Ellen Smith is still smokin… and playing well. 
  McMahon’s tips their hats to the feisty Orphans who often played with six women on the court.  The 4 points doubled their season total so watch out Sun Division.  Thanks to Mickey Falcone for not giving up and sticking with us.  We’re glad to have you.  Thanks to Bobby for not blowing his top for once and thanks to the Christine, Terri and Marguerite who put with the BS from the guys. 
Suns of Beaches are undefeated this week!  Despite Jay’s hangover, Kevin’s T-Rex arms and Beth’s matchmaking.  For all those single guys out, see Beth and be prepared to pose down for her. 
The Beach House beat the host Piranha’s 5-0 but the Piranha’s won the battle of most women 13-4 with one lucky guy to rotate among them.  Moose even started coaching the opposition because he was so taken with their spirit and their high level of drinking ability.  The Pier 92 gang is now 2-33; it must have been the wind.  Their pride is high, their rank is low, they’re making a comeback and they still put on the best show. 
We’ve narrowed it down to either 1989 or 1990 as the first year of the league.  We should be able to check Steve’s shoebox and line up all of his uniform shirts to confirm. 
We would like to know why Kerry from the Bayview Bashers was sitting on the sidelines. The one person who has perfect attendance on the team.  The one who keeps the kitty (Genovese?) for the team every week. Why???Mary from Team Federation would like to thank everyone who came down to the game to help them play against Team Jamesons.  We shocked them and us by pulling off a win.  See what happens when our fearful leader Tom is away!  Good game guys and dolls.    
The Transplants nosed out the Harbor Light 3-2 with Rose bumping and setting (not much spiking) the team to victory.  Jaime finally took some man-scaping lessons from Mike and removed the mustache and chest hairs.  Did you notice how much cleaner the beach was?  Elaine was happy Rodzilla was all over the court but not so happy that he was all over her.  Flat Top Kevin took out the Transplant bench and a Medevac was called to remove Dina to a nearby hospital for treatment of non-life threatening injuries.  Kevin, don’t be surprised if your football season tips are lower this year. 
The Jameson Turtles had a dismal loss to the Sand Spikers 0-5.  Remember that internal strife killed the Roman Empire, Turtles.  Sidewinder Mark’s serve was deflated when his “special” ball was taken out of play and sent to the FBI for FBI Mike to analyze, with a report due back to the league office soon.  Chris and Cindy were a force on the court but if they don’t show up at the salons disciplinary action will be taken to its fullest. 

Has John Sica finished studying the tapes of the Killa Hills and has he found their weakness yet?  Leigh Ann says, No way” and next week they will dispatch the old-timers.  If they won 5 games this week with just 5 girls what’s going to happen next week when they bring out the big guns? (Hooters video?) 
Last Call had their A team out tonight, starring the Mauler, Kissing Kate and Surfer Girl and won 2 games off of the Desert Island.  (We’ll see you in the playoffs.)  Their co-captain was pining away for his blonde bombshell as he rushed from the beach to Ben Franklin’s house before closing.  (Folks, I can’t make this stuff up.)  What’s up with Big Dan’s better half actually going home for a shower before going to the Pier?  It’s not the 21 Club, you know.  The Renovator started a new job and I hope Barbara has invested in Depends stock. 
Freedhand’s knocked out Fillmore 5-0 which makes Marie 6-0 in the last two nights.  The race in the Ocean Division for places 2-6 are so tight that Nikki was seen checking the latest scores on her palm pilot while tossing back beers at the Sugar Bowl.

We would like to know why Kerry from the Bayview Bashers was sitting on the sidelines.  The one person who has perfect attendance on the team. The one who keeps the kitty (Genovese?) every week. Why?????   Mary from tean Federation would like to thank everyone who came down to see the game to help them play against Team Jamesons.  We shocked them and us by pulling off a win.  See what happens when our fearful leader Tom is away!  Good game guys and dolls.   
Team Margarita finally showed up at the post-game party, which is really the most important thing, after all.  The first time team is in first place with 28 wins and 7 losses and the records show that Aggie has been out there for all 7.  He’s also just south of 300 lbs. 
It’s All Good won 2 and Rick Flanagan was back tap-dancing again while teammate, Eddie was off dancing with the American Ballet Theatre.  It’s All Good now and it will always be good. 
Not since Haley’s Comet has Rockaway seen an event like tonight – McMahon’s won 4 games!  Bobby M. can now avoid a court-ordered anger management course.   
Sullivan and Galleshaw won 4-1 in a match that featured an unprecedented “Walk Off” by Mark’s Maintenance in game 5.  That’s right, they actually left in the middle of a game, perhaps realizing they were no match for the S&G squad.    
    Desert Island won three out of five despite the fact that their whip-cracking Captain wasn’t there.  John “Red” Maroney, using youth to his advantage, made some unbelievable plays, even without the help of his superstar mother.  Matty as always played exceptional, despite the wind factor.  Missing persons can close the case. Sue showed up a little rusty but gave it her best shot.  Bobby, the newest member of the team continues to amaze onlookers with his athletic ability.  His sister Joanne has really been awesome lately.   Sugar Bowl took three from Abbracciamentos in a classic match up of youth versus experience. As always, the Dempsey sisters were the pillars of stability, durability and reliability.  After the game the game Joe and Charlie were trying to figure out who was missing and Joe replied; Frank Ganunn.  Charlie’s response…Who? 

There was some interesting food at Pier 92.  I haven’t had French toast and roast pork since I visited Liberia in 1982.  I understand they make a good Lobster Fra Diavolo for breakfast.      
    EZ Company did well winning 2 games against Simon Says Sea Bar but the company would have been better with the Kings, Jack and Monica.  The Iroquois are hoping to see you next week because Jimmy, TJ and Tim are getting tired of carrying the team. 
    The winning streak of Grassy’s came to an end 2-3 against Connolly’s after 4 weeks without a loss.  Perhaps the 2 forfeits and two rainouts had something to do with that streak.  Unfortunately, the inactivity did nothing for the many old bones on the squad and the rust really showed against Stevie G’s warriors.  Tommy Morgan was superb and he’s still digging the sand out of his shorts.  Next week, Red Bull before Bud! 
    Was the Pier trying to emulate the Crazy Country Club?  As the keyboard closed down at midnight, Cubby and Jimmy had not yet shown up at the party.  Is their Cal Ripken perfect attendance streak over?
    Reminder:  August 12th is the playoffs.  The league will be providing food and music.  Technically there is a no bottle rule at Riis Park.   On Wednesdays there is no one out in the wind and rain except us Volley enthusiasts.  On Saturday (daytime) there are eyes all over and it would not reflect well on the league if there was a total disregard for one of Gateways safety regulations.   Please comply.  See you at the beach.